BPA In Water Risks Clear As Vodka To Communists:
Our neighbors to the north in their perpetual re-bid to be a haven for pot smokers, asian prostitutes, odd guys named Doug, expatriated French-holes and to remain the red-headed stepchild of socialst Sweden have struck YET AGAIN!!!!
Damn you, Canada!
-Singlehandedly pounding the Nalgene Nunc company by outlawing polycarbonate drinking vessels made using Bisphenol A.
Why oh why must the Canucks persist in being the Gadfly of The Americas!!!!???
-WE HAD IT FIGURED OUT, MAN!!!!
Listen to me, the FDA had already figured out that BRITNEY SPEARS AND CHRISTINA AGUILERA were the cause of early-onset female puberty!!!
-But Noooooooooooooo, here comes big, important, morally-unassailable, hyper-critical (sorry, eh?) CANADA to pull the harmful components out of our food supply. -You killed Kenny! … you bastards!
It was already looking unsafe to re-use plastic water bottles from things like ‘Fiji’ and ‘Poland Spring’ because of other pseudo-estrogen plasticizers and hardeners, now we can’t even have our Nalgene!!!
Well we hope you’re happy you fishbarrel of whacked-out SARS-ridden Hosers.
And since BPA risks are especially high to the entire infant population of the world,
Who will no longer absorbing monomers and hormone-disrupting plasticizers,
Through the formula Mom gives ’em* are now all terribly, terribly in your debt;
-And will no doubt attempt serious hockey-based vengeance on the Great White North as a Thank You Present.
(after a bong and a crèpe in Vancouver; and probably still lose)
-Well, for them and every other water-drinking, acidic-canned-food-eating person in the world,
Who is now spared one more set of reproductive and endocrine disorders because Walmart, and various congress-critters may bogart your idea and keep that momentum going…
We Just Want To Say,… Thanks.
Also, for starting something our own government in the US probably wouldn’t have, either.
*at almost 55 times the normal rate due to liquids being hotter than room temperature or acidic, making those BPA risks that much more unbelievably-high for the people least able to fight them.
Photo Credits:”naked doll”, by Witold Barski, apropos.media.pl
USA Today-Bisphenol A
Wikipedia-Bispenol A (must read, btw)