-And the joys of bats**t-insanity, which also happens to cure Syphilis, because apparently Malaria is much the same as Omar from “The Wire”.
Well Look Out Omar! There’s a new strange-way-of-curing-disease player in-town. And his name?
Polio. -Yes, as in: “Oops, I am now almost totally paralyzed!” -That Polio.
SO: Our story begins with this one guy who got very very sick in an oddly-similar way to a few other guys in his field. -And also Senator Ted Kennedy.
BUT this particular guy had been a doctor, so he went right out and read all the studies he could get his hands on to see what could be done.
-And Also because his form of The Big C was a bad one, and the treatments were starting to not work. The standard medical Rock, Paper, Scissors was running-out; so was Fritz’s time.
But then he got lucky and stumbled upon the -Lizard, Spock in the form of Duke University’s Tisch Center, where they’d conveniently spent the past 10 years studying an experimental new twist on that old “Omar” method of curing Syphilis.
-Just one that targets not Happy-Town scourges,
but the scourge-of-all-scourges; humanity’s Health-Voldemort.
And that ongoing study was showing some [ahem] “promising” results in animal trials.
You see, the doctors at Duke had found a very peculiar weakness in the structure the disease sets-up, [Which I will save for later!]
-And through a little splicing-sorcery, which turns out had been brewing for at least 100 years,
They were able to play a trick on it and de-Horcrux the crap out of the disease that was killing Dr. Anderson with vicious dispatch.
I would REALLY love to confirm what you might already be guessing,
But You Have Got to go over to the Washington Post and instead, Read the Whole Story to find out how they saved the very very lucky doctor,
And the interesting Top-Trumps-Proxy-War Drs. Gromeier, Desjardins, and Sampson were able to play on such a ferocious assassin.
It’s pretty good stuff!
-Not End-Of-Deathly-Hallows-Storytelling, mind you; but still pretty good.
JUMP BONUS!: “The Big Bang Theory”-Sheldon Cooper Explains Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock
JUMP BONUS 2!: Harry Potter Defeats Voldemort (but not as great as in the book)
Omar from “The Wire”, by David Simon, Ed Burns, and HBO
Exhaust Port Lol, by ICanHasCheezBurger user, morrisjvan
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock on “The Big Bang Theory”, by Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and CBS
Final Duel in “Harry Potter and The Deathly-Hallows, Part 2”, by David Yates, David Heyman, David Barron, J. K. Rowling, Steve Kloves, and Warner Brothers
• Source: WashingtonPost
• via: TYWKIWDBI
• More Coverage: Duke,Tisch-PVS-RIPO | You Can Donate to the Duke PVS-RIPO Project Here | Cracked-5 Creepy Treatments