So when he wasn’t drinking, whoring, or writing the filthiest scatological poetry since the advent of the Nation of Germany, and exchanging it back and forth with -His Mother!-,
Mozart was busy getting his Russell-Brandian ass kicked,
By disease.
And doctors,
-Not just the ones back then who were busy bleeding the crap out of one of the greatest composers of all time, with dirty, unsanitized instruments,
Not ‘Dr.’ Phil, either. (though, in-fairness, Phil does insist on treating his patients with a blunt instrument)
Nope; – William Grant, and William Dawson; who apparently have lots of time on their hands,
Went back through whatever reports they could have, as CSI in-style as they could short of having an actual autopsy on the guy,
And that crazy dude from the porn channel who goes out and kills people when he’s not stringing blood-patterns in crime scenes.
And they noticed something interesting:
Mozart was a Complete and Utter Douchebag.
–Nope; even Bigger than Russell Brand.
But they also noticed something else: Constanze had some pretty sweet boobs.
Alright, ALRIGHT!!!: The thing they noticed was that Mozart had a lot of his bad-reactions, kidney-infections, and various “C**k-Owies” between the months of October and May.
Luckily for the published paper, one of the 2 doctors is a total f***ing crackpot a NASA scientist and somewhat of an expert in vitamins.
A total f***ing crackpot NASA scientist who rightly asserts that Mozart was an utter douchebag,
AND, also asserts that people, especially those with pale skin, who live at high-latitudes do not get enough sun-exposure during the fall+winter,
AND, thus their bodies cannot make enough Vitamin D.
AND, that Vitamin D deficiency is related to all kinds of diseases, infections, immune-system problems, MS, etc.
AND, that unless you live between the Latitudes of Atlanta and Rio, YOU TOO will not be getting enough Vitamin D during the fall+winter months.
Now, Mozart’s doctors didn’t know what Vitamins or Fake Unlimited Data Plans are. But you Do.
-Or alternatively, somebody you know. Ask them to explain.
Anyway: DON’T GET “C**K-OWIES” BETWEEN OCTOBER AND MAY! -DON’T BE LIKE MOZART! -NOTHING LIKE HIM AT ALL! ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA, NIENTE, NAUGHT, nnnnnnnnnnnnnn, hrm.
So, give Grant’s idea a think & check out the Links for some more Details and also to see what the appropriate levels of Vitamin D are.
Especially if you’re an internet troll junkie who lives in their mom’s basement and doesn’t get out much in the sun.
Note: One thing the study Doesn’t say, is that you don’t have to be some farty classical musician to worry about V-D deficiency.
Note 2: (yes, I know we put this all over the site.) Though it’s abit hard to actually OD on it, nobody would ever think taking a new thing, or without testing, blood-work, talking to your Doc, etc. to get the right dosage+schedule is very smart, so don’t go off half-cocked, okay?
Photo Credits: Russell Brand, Jo Hale/Getty Images
Links:
• via: DiscoveryNews
• More Coverage: SunArc.org | Wikipedia-Vitamin D
• Source Study: MPPA-Vitamin D deficiency contributed to Mozart’s death
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