Vegan Dining Out: Fast Food Menu Hacks To Cure Herbivore Munchies:
Anyone trying to eat according to a strict nutrition plan knows how hard it can be.
Whether it’s remembering to avoid sugars, or get the right number of calories.
The tougher plans like Keto, Vegetarian, or Vegan can pose more complex problems.
-Like just the ability to get the right Types of food in enough quantity at-all.
Well, Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning are here to the rescue! Here to help vegans get all the on-the-go nutrition they need.
From fast-food restaurants. That primarily serve meat. This should be good…
The Problem: You’re Stuck In Fast-Food America:
As we’ve said before, it’s much healthier to cook and eat at home.
But sometimes you’re away, there isn’t a lot of choice, and you just have to make-do.
So what do you, as an exotic-
dancerdieter, do in that situation?
As part of their ongoing public-service efforts, Rhett & Link have detailed-instructions.
-And it involves just about as much absurdity as any video on their channel would suggest.
The finest solution any pair of adult-sized 2-year-olds can provide.
The Solution: Start With A Restaurant For Meat-Eaters:
First, find a primarily-meat-selling fast-food joint like Arby’s, Wendy’s, or McDonald’s.
Second, enjoy the irony as you buy 5 separate items at each of them totaling about $20,
-Mostly for the garnishes.
Then discard about $16 worth of food to make tiny mostly-vegan items worth $4 or less.
Next, pretend you’re at a fancy party as you proceed to starve or go broke, because these canapé-sized food bites should keep you full for a maximum of 2 hours.
Vegan Dining Out: Bribes, Canapés And Tattoos Are Mandatory:
You will also need to either know, or spend even more money bribing/tipping the manager, (or tattoo yourself with the company logo)
As you will also need access to most of their food-service equipment with your own spatula to complete the recipes.
This includes both the $900 1100 Watt industrial Vitamix to blend things that shouldn’t be blended,
And the hazard-pay-grade fryer to deep-fat fry things that ought not be fried, and you are definitely unqualified to operate safely.
(at least it cooks with vegan canola oil and not lard, which should make the pain of 3rd degree burns much more bearable)
The Succulent Taste Of Vegan Victory!:
And after all that, you should have their full menu of:
1) Appetizer: Arby’s Vegan Loaded Crostini,
2) Main Dish: Wendy’s Dave’s Vegan Burger,
3) Dessert: McDonald’s McVegan McCoffee McShake
Otherwise known-as hash-browns, meta-sandwiches made of sandwich buns surrounding fried sandwich-buns,
And drinks made out of something that used to resemble an apple-pie marketed to people who operate tunnel-boring machinery.
Also, don’t prepare any of this directly on the tables; that’s good advice, too. And bring your own bacon, just in case.
Anyway, it sounds great! I wouldn’t expect anything less from them and look-forward to their future experiments in the field of vegan dining out and fast-food Nutrition!
Photo/Video Credits: Screenshot and video by YT-GMM
• Source: YT
• More Coverage: Rhett and Link’s main site