What’s Old Is New Again!:
When we look back at the oldest editions of Popular Mechanics, Good Housekeeping, Life Magazine etc.,
The back pages are chockablock with all kinds of hilarious contraptions to reshape, maintain, & massage women’s faces and figures.
And while we make fun of them now, we’re still not past all of that yet.
-Maybe we never will be in our quest for perfection.
Well today, Crazy Japan & Crazy Asia bring you their newest face & beauty tools in the images below!
Enjoy a Future-Retro walk down a memory lane that still exists in wacky products not sold by the Vermont Country Store.
-All of which, would probably have electrocuted you 100 years ago…
1) Pink Vibrating Jaw-Muscle Exercise Doorknob:
Ebay-NEW OMUNI Beauty Facial Lift At Once Face Lifting Mouth Exercise Made in Japan
2) Electronic Cheek Muscle Exercise Face-Clamp:
JapanTrendShop-Maturity Haruka EX Cheek muscle slack stimulation beauty gadget
3) Electronic Neck Muscle Exerciser Thyroid Communicator [And Voice-Changer?]:
JapanTrendShop-Neck Wrinkle Iron Anti-aging, sagging beauty gadget
4) Cheekbone-Reinforcing Plastic Face-Bra:
Ebay-AntiAgeing HOUREI Lift Bra Facial Lifting Up Beauty Care Tool From Japan F/S (S)
5) Hannibal Lecter Muscle-Lifting Lower Face Mask:
Coupang-Face Mask [lifting lower face]
6) USB Heated & Ventilated Super Eye Vision Vibrating Face Plastic:
ElevenStreet-Kojima Rechargeable Eye Massager Io CME-610 Vibration Thermal
7) Airpod/Headphone-Style Deluxe Electronic Cheekbone Slimmer:
8) Miniature Facial Hair Remover Slinky:
Coupang-Facial Hair Removal Machine B-20014
9) Pink Nose Tip Refining Clamp With Silicone Bushings:
Coupang-Nose Tongs B-20045
10) Green Rock Skin Freezing Face-Zamboni For Hot-Flash Reduction:
Coupang-Ice Roller / Face Roller / Ice Pack Massager / Skin Soothing
11) Cheek & Chin Slimming Neoprene Face Slingshot:
Coupang-V-line face mask double band double-faced face line band
Amazon Sells This Too
12) Eyebrow Trimming Shears And Permanent-Surprise/Attitude Templates:
Coupang-Hudson Andy Olla Eye Makeup 4-piece set
13) BONUS! Horror-Movie Leatherface Sauna-Effect Face Mask:
JapanTrendShop-Kaomomi Mask Sauna, anti-aging skincare tool
NSFW ALERT!: Ok, Here are the two that were a little bit more risqué than the rest. Included only for the sake of humor:
14) Takiko’s Plastic Hand-Claw Breast Massager/Boob-Armpit Junction Scratcher:
ElevenStreet-Silicone Face Massage Face Roller Skin Care Facial Care
“Curves of Youth”, by Professor Eugene Mack
All other publicity images courtesy of vendors and original manufacturers