Those damn old-timey people and their tree-chewing bastard folk remedies!!
-Like the nutty Euros who used to go out and suck on a White Willow for a headache; -which somebody eventually turned into those little pills we now call, “Aspirin”.
But this time, It’s Personal. Thanks to some UCLA researcher-enablers, The G**-D**N Oriental Raisin Tree is on a 1-
ManTree Vendetta to put an end to my Championship Drinking Career!!
It turns out our friend Jing Liang is just too freaking perspicacious for her own good. Her unfortunate observation of a spice used in Chinese cooking, and the people who miraculously seemed to avoid getting drunk on a night out after eating it, has lead to experiments ringing the death-knell-intro of AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells” for all AWESOMELY-Ill-Advised-Benders going forward.
This spice, made from the Chinese variant of the tree, turns out to be all kinds of Kung-Fu Grip on the Liver (like Quercitin in different extracts), and the particular extract she’s testing is called dihydromyricetin, or DHM.
Her tests using DHM show nothing short of GABA-Receptor-Blocking-Neutron-Bombage for the drunks among us. -Yes, somehow the drunk is gone, but the person is left standing, and later free of hangover, too.
She double-checked this by using a different-but-stronger GABA-receptor blocker, and wouldn’t you know it, BOOM, the DHM effects were gone.
And by gone, I mean the Hammered-A**-Drunk that had previously regained almost full cognitive function, stood upright, and rejoined his Lumosity Brain-Gym Maze-Solvers’ Meetup, (-though he still had plenty of alcohol in his system) reverted RIGHT back, pissed on a[n occupied] cop-car, got in next to the cop after yelling, “SHOTGUN!“, then got back out, fell down on the ground like the lightweight Frosh he was, and started crying for Mama all over again.
Furthermore, once administered with the extract, the test rats started, Unlike Ray Milland, losing their taste for endless booze, and became increasingly moderate, ultimately decreasing by about 75%.
The one danger is, even though some of the rats were given unlimited booze as a test, they aren’t humans.
And they won’t necessarily suffer from the same psych. problems as humans. And as DHM is only a receptor-site-blocking-sobriety-enhancer, and NOT A MAGIC ETHANOL-DESTROYER, the Fear is that Human subjects will just find another +stronger way to blitz themselves, possibly drinking more and KILLING their livers/selves, because DHM is blocking EXACTLY the kind of mental “Lost Weekend” they were going after in the first place.
*That being said, since 12-Step-Programs are about the only treatment with a consistent record of treating Alcoholism, ANYTHING is worth a try.
More Details at the Links:
Photo Credits: Ray Milland in “Lost Weekend” Publicity Still, by Billy Wilder, Paramount Pictures, Universal Studios
• Source: UCLA-Chinese herbal medicine may provide novel treatment for alcohol abuse
• via: [Archived]Vancouver Sun