It would sure explain a lot of memes.
And if Pinky ever does take over the world, he will surely be succeeded in quick Game-of-Thrones style by the Lolcats;
after they EAT HIM.
SUSPICION! CONNECTION-SEEKING! SHABBY-CLOTHING! SEX-KITTENISM! BRAIN-EROSION! AILUROPHILIA! ANXIETY! FOOLHARDINESS! HERMITAGE! INTREPITUDE! PSYCH-DISORDERS! SOUNDGARDEN LYRICS! –THE SKY IS FALLING!!!
…Scientists would never like the idea that a small microbe could go so far as to modify something as lofty as human behavior and psychology, or even that a derivative reaction to their presence could change it either,
but it’s looking like the little bastards do.
(microbes; not scientists)
Well, throughout the animal and insect kingdoms, everything from rats, to cockroaches, to crickets to shrimp, ALL KINDS of organisms have their behavior modified. -And in STRIKINGLY similar ways.
-And the scarier part is, the studies in question, mostly by Dr. Jaroslav Flegr concern just ONE buggy out of a much larger pool of potential parasites. And one of the Very Few that can cross the Blood-Brain-Barrier.
As they were the subjects with the most pronounced behaviors, Rats were tested first and most thoroughly. In one test, the scientists gave the infected bubonic-bastards 4 test choices in the corners of their cages. Rat smell, water, cat urine, and rabbit urine.
Normal rats have an absolute Biblical terror over cat pee. -The infected rats? They headed straight for that corner of the cage; not just 60% of the time, but EVERY time.
And very similar to the rumored functioning of “Sex Panther”, the cologne so strong, it’s illegal in 9 countries, and has bits of Real Panther in it,
The microbe does things to 2 parts of the brain, 1 that deals with Sexy-Times/Pleasure, the other dealing with Anxiety. And it twists Both to its advantage.
That advantage being Reproduction; making the rat do THE EXACT THING that will complete the microbe’s lifecycle; ie: Ending Up In The Cat’s Gut. This active, suicidal, cat-seeking behavior puts up a big neon sign to the fat bastard cat whose been chasing it around yelling, ‘GET EEN MAH BELLLEHHH!!!!’
So What. -right? –Tom Eats Jerry. Story Over. Done.
-Not so fast. It turns out the little bastard (microbe; not scientist) gets into HUMANS ALSO.
How do we know?
A very intelligent, very interesting Czech doctor began poking around, doing self-assessed & group-assessed personality surveys in-concert with blood-tests of the subjects.
And across MANY different subjects in MANY different sampling groups, like students, civilians, military, etc. Same results. He found it does hit people; in more complex ways than rodents; but it Does.
Infected Men were more introverted, suspicious, abit oblivious of their external presentation, less rule-abiding in some situations, and more oddly intrepid in others.
-There was even a study by Nicky Boulter out of Australia back in 2007, that said [early childhood?] infected men also had Lower IQ, Lower Overall Education-Level, and acted like general Douchebags who were less attractive toward women; -but maybe they’re just being ‘Australian’.
Infected Women, as you might have guessed, were pretty opposite. They were more extroverted, trusting, image-conscious, and rule-abiding. There was no word on how intrepid or not they were in odd situations.
So hilarious-and-awesomely-sexist-jokes-about-clingy-and-obedient-women-acting-like-Sex-Kittens-aside, one question he asked was:
“Why the difference in behavior if the infection is the same?”
The interesting leap that led to the answer was found in some psychology research; and it brought him (Dr. Flegr; not Brian Fontana) back to the main idea; it’s THE SAME BRAIN PHENOM. -Anxiety.
(some other doctors even theorize 2nd-Order Effects like General/Localized NeuroInflammation)
*It’s just that women seek connection when anxious and men do ~the opposite.
***And in a strange turn of fate,
And one he had suspected for awhile:
It turns out the doctor compelled to study Toxoplasmosis so persistently; -he has the infection himself.
-BOOM!
…So what can you do?
Nothing.
Science has no vaccine for it yet. It would very likely only affect your personality in subtle ways. And since Toxo lodges in the brain, it’s very hard to get to anyway.
The only action you can take is Prevention. -NO YOU DO -NOT- HAVE TO THROW YOUR CATS OUT!!![PDF link] —Even Dr. Flegr doesn’t recommend that and he has 2 that go in and out as they please. And indoor cats pose practically no threat at all.
Just be careful around young outdoor cats for their first ~3-ish months of hunting and around their litterboxes; -that’s when they expel the parasite.
Keep the countertops, tabletops and eating-surfaces clean.
Don’t drink unfiltered water or eat unwashed vegetables.
And wear gloves during gardening and wash your hands after;
-Especially if you know there are outdoor cats in the neighborhood, as they like to use gardens for their Al Fresco Litterboxes;
-must be the snazzy view and the post-Rage-Against-The-Machine-jam-session rebelliousness toward the social norms on unselfconsciously-stylistic-public-poopage.
And don’t worry too too much. Due to sanitation being so good here, Americans have among the lowest infection rates in the world at ~10-20%.
Much lower than the French, who like their steaks bloody and are up near 55%, or even some places in Africa with contaminated water supplies, where infection rates are up near 95%.
-Puts a little more context to those fearless 7-year-olds holding AK47s in photos from The Sudan, doesn’t it?
Footnote:
And as crazy as this sounds, maybe Dr. Flegr’s studies on Toxo won’t be the last entry in the story of some tiny biological operators changing and manipulating our behavior.
There are already studies showing The Flu Makes Us More Social. -Who knows what’s next?…
Check out the Links for More Details:
Photo Credits:
“Lenin Cat” Internet Meme, by ichc user Mike, Reddit, sailors_jerry, and Icanhascheezburger.com
“Retro Sparkle Drive”, by oh_canada
Fat Bastard character publicity photo from the movie, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”, by Mike Myers, Michael McCullers, Jay Roach, New Line Cinema
Screenshot of Sex Panther Cologne Website with Brian Fontana, by Omni Consumer Products, Paramount Pictures, Will Ferrel, Judd Apatow, DreamWorks Pictures
“logarithmic tower, reverse”, by Eric Gjerde, origamitessellations.com
“Abstract picture of easter egg and fireworks aroun”, by Andrejs Pidjass, nejron.livejournal.com
“cat with sword”, by icanhascheezburger.com user matthew2ii2
Links:
• Source: TheAtlantic
• via: tywkiwdbi
• More Coverage: VetMed-What to do about Toxo & How To Avoid Giving Up Your Pets [PDF Link] | Kangaroo Protection-Toxo FAQ | Wired | TheScientist-Animal Mind Control | Wikipedia-Toxoplasmosis
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