Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. YOU ARE NOT READING THIS. YOU ARE STARING AT THE PHOTO ABOVE, AREN’T YOU?
[moving on] Thank GOD there was a study that did not actually appear in the New England Joural of Medecine as far back as 2009 or 1997, that had not actually been conducted over the course of 5 years and 500 participants.
The [ed: best] hoax study [ed: of ALL TIME] asserts that 10 minutes of boob-staring is equivalent to 30 minutes of aerobic exercise for men, due to the increased circulatory effects that the women had on them.
-Not that I’m putting ANYthing past ze crazy Germans in Frankfurt.
The point is NOT that the alleged study has been debunked by Snopes.com. Let’s face it, the people at Snopes are no fun, and they’re also out to ruin your fun, too and depress the entire planet while trying to feel better about themselves because they’re insecure cynics and their Moms never loved them.
So I say, DIY! –Get together with your own cardiologist, your favorite strippers, girlfriends, mistresses, total strangers, and high-powered telescopes if necessary and carry out the lord’s work in the name of the probably-entirely-fictional Dr. Karen Weatherby and Validate This Hypothesis regardless!!!
And post your results, with Restraining Orders and Court Orders redacted please, in the Comments Section.
TO THE RAMPARTS!!!