Eleven score and eleven years ago, our great Founding Fathers saw fit to burden themselves with throwing off the uncharitable chains of British colonialist hegemony.
To that end, a mighty band of brothers (special forces -even), took to the shipyards of great hoary old Boston, and in demonstration cast aside into said harbor the symbol of our Mother Country’s royalist oppression -Tea.
Had those most wily and crafty bastards been alive today, they would most certainly steal into the night once more, alighting not this time upon the Boston waterfront, but instead upon the public water supplies of all the nation, in glorious para-military deployment of perhaps this dour century’s greatest invention, save the transistor: F-Cup Tea.
-Okay, realistically: F-Cups would be Quite an achievement. –“bon-kyu-bon” ethos (oh, thank you Lord!) -or not.
*But No Matter; if it makes even a Small improvement, -why not Forego the medi-eval torture installation of plastic funbags, Skip the bust-lifting Decline Presses at the athletics club (-sweating is so passé-); Save the £2.5k you’d otherwise spend on a VacBra. -Pass on the Almond / Omega3 Overdosage, Chuck the Bloussant pills in the bin!
-Instead, just pull up a chair at a Tokyo cafe, have a nice cuppa (–this is me resisting the urge to make puns using the word “cups”–) and realize that the Japanese really are better at everything.
-Have a biscuit or two while you’re at it! Cheers! -Or in the words of Roger Moore as James Bond, -Bottoms Up.
JUMP BONUS!
After a little more research, the most active ingredient in both the tea & cookies looks like it’s an herb called, Pueraria Mirifica.
Photo Credits: Various F-Cup Tea packaging & marketing materials.
Links:
• Source: tokyo times
• via: Gizmodo
• More Coverage: F-Cup Tea | Breastnexus.com [very likely NSFW]
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